I’ve been grieving. My marriage of more than 15 years is over. I am learning what it is to fall apart and face a blank slate with choices and fears and dreams. It is miserable and magical. (credit T Swizzle ) And I’m doing it with my kids. So many lessons are being learned, about life, love, responsibility, self, expectation, forgiveness. Much is so raw right now that it’s challenging to frame it all in a neat piece of writing. For now, I’m going to share a poem that I wrote yesterday just upon waking in the morning. The words were there as I came out of sleep and I followed the simple directions and wrote them down. Little did I know that it would set the stage for the rest of my day, which included melting down in front of my kids. It was cathartic, cleansing. I opened myself and my children opened in their own ways and we all moved forward together, and as individuals. Whatever you may be grieving in your own life, I offer this, my heart and my love to you this day. I was reminded by a dear friend yesterday that everything works out in the end. If it isn’t worked out, then it isn’t the end. Join me in breathing, and little by little taking steps toward the beautiful life that I KNOW is there beyond this pain.
Day After Year
“Breathe,” she told herself.
These such things are the ways of life
But she knew there was more.
Love more, laugh more, see the beauty
Mend the wounds
She accepted the burden of righting her wrongs.
Loneliness, emptiness, longing for more
Things she wanted to do and see
Fell away in sacrifice of better things to come
Which never came.
“Just over there, it’s close,” he vowed.
Day after year went by
The gold, the prize
Where freedom from fear lies
He did not see her
Waiting and dying
For him to come home.
Love he claimed for her was true
No other could compare
She wanted to believe
So promised herself again and again
Day after year
Heart and dreams in pieces
She chose to not go on
Heaviness and sorrow saw her pulling herself up
Truth came to the light and held her
The way he never could.
More breathing, with floods of tears
She feels it all
Facing today, tomorrow unknown
He has gone
Living her life with someone new
Just like that
All promises dissolved
She sees that what she’s fighted for
Had left her long ago.
Moments of beauty
Snippets of strength
Purpose, Love, Joy call to her
She will arrive
In perfect time.